grief when friends have babies

the other day i was in a convo where someone was expressing some guilt about feeling grief in relationship to a friend who was having a baby. it reminded me that this is something i’ve thought about in the past and prompted me to write about it so here we are.

my practice of uncling is one of the most important parts of my life these days. as such, i have reoriented myself towards babies in all sorts of new ways. one of those ways is being very intentional about staying in relationship with friends as they move through the process of trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant (and sometimes getting unpregnant), and then delivering a child and becoming parents.

one thing i have noticed in that arc is that there is real change in the nature of the relationships. and whenever change is afoot, there is loss. two of the most significant things that get lost in those friendships, in my experience, are:

so given that i’ve been through this at least five times, here a few things i’ve learned:

phew! there’s more to say on this front but i gotta get to work! ciao.

words / writing / post-processing
552w / 15min / 3min